Hello….this is the first time I’ve ever been in this forum so I appreciate your taking the time to read my post. I know this is long but please read bc I really need some help, please.
About three weeks ago, my life changed completely. I was scheduled to have a root canal / crown on one of my front lower teeth at my dentist. I’ve had root canals and crowns before so I’m very aware of what the procedure involves. My dentist numbed my mouth and began working, and after about 45 minutes he stopped and told me that he wasn’t going to be able to save the tooth….that it cracked into when he was drilling. Then something happened that I had NEVER experienced at any dental office. My dentist, who I have been seeing for around ten years, begins acting very strange. It is very difficult to explain, you almost have to have been there and personally experienced this to understand what I’m talking about but he almost acted as if he was appalled by me and giving up on me as a patient. He looked like he had seen a ghost or something, just had this mortified expression on his face and acted like he was at the end of his rope with me. He told me that he doesn’t know what to do anymore with me. He said ‘Every one of your teeth are going to need some type of restoration. I see at least fifteen or so teeth that are going to need crowns because we can no longer continue doing patchwork with fillings. It’s time to decide if your going to want to restore your teeth or just give up on them.’ And it wasn’t necessarily what he said to me as much as how he said it that puzzled me. This dentist had done all kinds of work on me for ten years and he suddenly treated me very rudely and almost acted like he just wanted to wash his hands of me and move on. I am just a patient and don’t know anything about this stuff, so at this point I was feeling very shocked and uncomfortable. I was confused, and let me explain why I was confused. This was a few weeks ago near the end of February. Allow me to go back around five months to my last cleaning and appointment with him. I have my teeth cleaned twice a year, every six months….I would say I am in the dentist office more than the average person and I try to take care of my teeth but over the years, I have had to have a lot of work done. My teeth have always been prone to cavities and I’m sure some of my habits don’t help , but all my life I have had my teeth cleaned every six months and when something comes up that I need, I always have it done.
Anyway, five months earlier I am having my teeth cleaned and at the cleaning, the following issues were discussed…..
- I had a tooth in the very back that had a crown on it. I believe it was a crown that he had done a couple of years earlier. This crown had become loose when me and my family were visiting my wife’s mother in Orlando a few weeks prior to this appointment. This crowned tooth ended up just falling out when I was out of town. It just broke off. I didn’t do anything to cause this. I’m guessing that it had been gradually becoming loose wout me knowing and food had been getting up under the crown and causing more decay. That’s my best guess. I had never had anything like this happen. It just came out. And the root of the tooth remained. When he saw this, he almost acted rude about it, like it was my fault. He said ‘Well, I see you lost a tooth’ but in a very fed up tone. Like I caused this crowned tooth to fail and just fall out. He said ‘at some point we will need to remove the root of that tooth but it’s not urgent.’
- The next issue was another tooth in the very back that he said needed to be crowned and have a root canal. He said this is the priority.
- He also said I needed a root canal and crown on a front bottom tooth. A few months prior to this I had come in to ask him about this one bc I noticed what felt like a filling come loose behind the front tooth and I could feel the place that it came out. I thought it just needed to be refilled. When I went in he said…..’no, that’s going to need a root canal and crown. Are you feeling pain or sensitivity?’ I said no, it didn’t hurt at all. I really questioned needing a root canal and crown. I thought it should just be filled. I didn’t have the money at the time so it was put on hold.
- Other than these TWO bigger issues, they told me at my cleaning that I had only ONE OTHER SMALL CAVITY TO BE FILLED WHICH COULD WAIT UNTIL AFTER THESE OTHER TWO BIGGER THINGS WERE DONE. This is a key element in this story. At this cleaning ……I had ONE small cavity to be filled.
*****THERE WAS NO MENTION OF MY TEETH NEEDING FIFTEEN OR MORE CROWNS, basically a full restoration to save the teeth I have left. *******
I made an appointment to have the root canal and crown on the back tooth and I went in the following week to have the work done. When he started drilling, same thing happened…..he said he couldn’t save the tooth, that it was too decayed. He extracted it instead. I then made an appointment to fix the front tooth a couple of weeks later. I ended up needing to reschedule the appointment bc I was still trying to save up a bit more money to have it done, and they knew this. I said I could have the money in two weeks, but they said the next opening for me was nearly four months away…..even though this was important. I took it. And when the time of my appointment rolled around, it ended up being too late to save the tooth and he made me feel horrible for waiting. I didn’t want to wait that long. I needed to get the funds together and when I had them, then they pushed me off for four months.
So now, let’s go back to where I began the story. I am sitting there hearing him tell me that ……
- The tooth in the front couldn’t be saved bc I waited too long (it was actually bc I couldn’t get an appointment sooner).
- And now, the doctor is telling me that almost every tooth in my mouth needs ‘restoration’ or I will eventually loose them all. That he can no longer use fillings to fix any areas of decay. He pointed out around 15-16 teeth that he said needed a crown. He said that at this point these teeth are still healthy and can be saved but thinking long term, they will all need to be crowned. THIS WAS MAJOR.
****JUST FIVE MONTHS EARLIER AT MY CLEANING, I WAS TOLD I HAD ONE OTHER SMALL CAVITY TO BE FILLED BESIDES THE TWO OTHER BIGGER ISSUES I LISTED (the back tooth and the front tooth). Now 16+ teeth need to be crowned! I felt like this was a huge jump from my last cleaning. ****
And it was also how he told me …..the way he made me feel. I have super thick skin. I have been through A LOT in my life. I don’t get my feelings hurt. When I left his office, I felt like a horrible person who cares nothing about themselves. I’m a 49 year old man, husband of 26 years, father of two 13 year old twins, and I went home and immediately called my sister crying. That’s how bad this dentist made me feel. How he looked at me. Dentists are supposed to be comforting and supportive, not break people down. I am paying him to work on my mouth. He made me feel like I would be lucky if he gave me another shot. He made a comment in front of a female assistant that I had some stuff in between my teeth and he said i obviously don’t have good hygiene skills. And I said ‘Well what is where that tooth was?’ He said he put a temporary in its place and that it would probably start giving me problems after awhile. He didn’t offer any other options , that’s all he said is that it probably wont last long. I said ‘so what do I need to do?’ He said….’well, my first thought is nothing bc it’s obvious that you don’t care about your teeth.’ I said I do care. And then he said in a very frustrated and rushed way…..’well, here. I have a few more minutes I can spare. Let’s take a look. ‘ then he started naming off tooth numbers to the assistant…..listed around 17 teeth…..he said these all need crowns because fillings wont work anymore and if you don’t crown them you’ll lose them and have to get dentures or implants . But if your not going to take care of the crowns there’s no sense in getting them.
Let me say this…..I am not one to give excuses for my mistakes but this isn’t an excuse, this is reality. Fourteen years ago I injured my lower spine and I was never the same. After failed back surgeries, I was never able to be free of severe pain in both of my legs …..every single second for fourteen years. It never left, not one second. I’ve dedicated myself completely to raising my son and daughter who are now 13. Every bit of ME went into them. I haven’t been able to work full time in over five years. My wife supports us. We have no funds to spare. I have always cared about my teeth and oral hygiene, but I will admit, yes there have been times that I didn’t pay enough attention to taking care of myself exactly as I should as far as my teeth are concerned. I’m not making excuses, I’m just trying to say that life is hard and sometimes it’s easy to overlook things and not care for ourselves 100%. That doesn’t mean my dentist of ten years has the right to make me feel that I should just go bury my head in the sand bc my mouth looks awful and I’m a 49 year old man w poor hygiene. This embarrassed me! I am a fantastic father and a loving loyal husband and I went home literally crying to my sister about how much of a loser I have become and that I’m never going to find a way out of this. That my life is just a constant cycle of getting further and further into this hole that I can’t escape from. And now I can’t get out.
The past few weeks have been horrible. I tried to put it out of my head. When I got myself together, I called them and asked for a treatment plan. The plan is for 19 crowns and it is $20,000 of dental work. And I was left w a temporary tooth in front with no indication of how long this will last or what to do. I can’t afford this. And I’m so confused. I thought this was the reason I went in every six months to have my teeth cleaned…..to avoid something like this coming up. Just five months ago…..ONE MINOR CAVITY! What happened, what changed? Now $20k of dental crowns?????
I have done a lot of research into this. I was concerned that the root of that tooth that fell out could be creating bacteria that was damaging my other teeth but I asked them about that and they just ignored me. Now I am looking into going to Turkey to do this for much less money. Honestly, I don’t know what to do. I feel like this is the end for me. I have been feeling panicked. I don’t even feel like me anymore!
About three weeks ago, my life changed completely. I was scheduled to have a root canal / crown on one of my front lower teeth at my dentist. I’ve had root canals and crowns before so I’m very aware of what the procedure involves. My dentist numbed my mouth and began working, and after about 45 minutes he stopped and told me that he wasn’t going to be able to save the tooth….that it cracked into when he was drilling. Then something happened that I had NEVER experienced at any dental office. My dentist, who I have been seeing for around ten years, begins acting very strange. It is very difficult to explain, you almost have to have been there and personally experienced this to understand what I’m talking about but he almost acted as if he was appalled by me and giving up on me as a patient. He looked like he had seen a ghost or something, just had this mortified expression on his face and acted like he was at the end of his rope with me. He told me that he doesn’t know what to do anymore with me. He said ‘Every one of your teeth are going to need some type of restoration. I see at least fifteen or so teeth that are going to need crowns because we can no longer continue doing patchwork with fillings. It’s time to decide if your going to want to restore your teeth or just give up on them.’ And it wasn’t necessarily what he said to me as much as how he said it that puzzled me. This dentist had done all kinds of work on me for ten years and he suddenly treated me very rudely and almost acted like he just wanted to wash his hands of me and move on. I am just a patient and don’t know anything about this stuff, so at this point I was feeling very shocked and uncomfortable. I was confused, and let me explain why I was confused. This was a few weeks ago near the end of February. Allow me to go back around five months to my last cleaning and appointment with him. I have my teeth cleaned twice a year, every six months….I would say I am in the dentist office more than the average person and I try to take care of my teeth but over the years, I have had to have a lot of work done. My teeth have always been prone to cavities and I’m sure some of my habits don’t help , but all my life I have had my teeth cleaned every six months and when something comes up that I need, I always have it done.
Anyway, five months earlier I am having my teeth cleaned and at the cleaning, the following issues were discussed…..
- I had a tooth in the very back that had a crown on it. I believe it was a crown that he had done a couple of years earlier. This crown had become loose when me and my family were visiting my wife’s mother in Orlando a few weeks prior to this appointment. This crowned tooth ended up just falling out when I was out of town. It just broke off. I didn’t do anything to cause this. I’m guessing that it had been gradually becoming loose wout me knowing and food had been getting up under the crown and causing more decay. That’s my best guess. I had never had anything like this happen. It just came out. And the root of the tooth remained. When he saw this, he almost acted rude about it, like it was my fault. He said ‘Well, I see you lost a tooth’ but in a very fed up tone. Like I caused this crowned tooth to fail and just fall out. He said ‘at some point we will need to remove the root of that tooth but it’s not urgent.’
- The next issue was another tooth in the very back that he said needed to be crowned and have a root canal. He said this is the priority.
- He also said I needed a root canal and crown on a front bottom tooth. A few months prior to this I had come in to ask him about this one bc I noticed what felt like a filling come loose behind the front tooth and I could feel the place that it came out. I thought it just needed to be refilled. When I went in he said…..’no, that’s going to need a root canal and crown. Are you feeling pain or sensitivity?’ I said no, it didn’t hurt at all. I really questioned needing a root canal and crown. I thought it should just be filled. I didn’t have the money at the time so it was put on hold.
- Other than these TWO bigger issues, they told me at my cleaning that I had only ONE OTHER SMALL CAVITY TO BE FILLED WHICH COULD WAIT UNTIL AFTER THESE OTHER TWO BIGGER THINGS WERE DONE. This is a key element in this story. At this cleaning ……I had ONE small cavity to be filled.
*****THERE WAS NO MENTION OF MY TEETH NEEDING FIFTEEN OR MORE CROWNS, basically a full restoration to save the teeth I have left. *******
I made an appointment to have the root canal and crown on the back tooth and I went in the following week to have the work done. When he started drilling, same thing happened…..he said he couldn’t save the tooth, that it was too decayed. He extracted it instead. I then made an appointment to fix the front tooth a couple of weeks later. I ended up needing to reschedule the appointment bc I was still trying to save up a bit more money to have it done, and they knew this. I said I could have the money in two weeks, but they said the next opening for me was nearly four months away…..even though this was important. I took it. And when the time of my appointment rolled around, it ended up being too late to save the tooth and he made me feel horrible for waiting. I didn’t want to wait that long. I needed to get the funds together and when I had them, then they pushed me off for four months.
So now, let’s go back to where I began the story. I am sitting there hearing him tell me that ……
- The tooth in the front couldn’t be saved bc I waited too long (it was actually bc I couldn’t get an appointment sooner).
- And now, the doctor is telling me that almost every tooth in my mouth needs ‘restoration’ or I will eventually loose them all. That he can no longer use fillings to fix any areas of decay. He pointed out around 15-16 teeth that he said needed a crown. He said that at this point these teeth are still healthy and can be saved but thinking long term, they will all need to be crowned. THIS WAS MAJOR.
****JUST FIVE MONTHS EARLIER AT MY CLEANING, I WAS TOLD I HAD ONE OTHER SMALL CAVITY TO BE FILLED BESIDES THE TWO OTHER BIGGER ISSUES I LISTED (the back tooth and the front tooth). Now 16+ teeth need to be crowned! I felt like this was a huge jump from my last cleaning. ****
And it was also how he told me …..the way he made me feel. I have super thick skin. I have been through A LOT in my life. I don’t get my feelings hurt. When I left his office, I felt like a horrible person who cares nothing about themselves. I’m a 49 year old man, husband of 26 years, father of two 13 year old twins, and I went home and immediately called my sister crying. That’s how bad this dentist made me feel. How he looked at me. Dentists are supposed to be comforting and supportive, not break people down. I am paying him to work on my mouth. He made me feel like I would be lucky if he gave me another shot. He made a comment in front of a female assistant that I had some stuff in between my teeth and he said i obviously don’t have good hygiene skills. And I said ‘Well what is where that tooth was?’ He said he put a temporary in its place and that it would probably start giving me problems after awhile. He didn’t offer any other options , that’s all he said is that it probably wont last long. I said ‘so what do I need to do?’ He said….’well, my first thought is nothing bc it’s obvious that you don’t care about your teeth.’ I said I do care. And then he said in a very frustrated and rushed way…..’well, here. I have a few more minutes I can spare. Let’s take a look. ‘ then he started naming off tooth numbers to the assistant…..listed around 17 teeth…..he said these all need crowns because fillings wont work anymore and if you don’t crown them you’ll lose them and have to get dentures or implants . But if your not going to take care of the crowns there’s no sense in getting them.
Let me say this…..I am not one to give excuses for my mistakes but this isn’t an excuse, this is reality. Fourteen years ago I injured my lower spine and I was never the same. After failed back surgeries, I was never able to be free of severe pain in both of my legs …..every single second for fourteen years. It never left, not one second. I’ve dedicated myself completely to raising my son and daughter who are now 13. Every bit of ME went into them. I haven’t been able to work full time in over five years. My wife supports us. We have no funds to spare. I have always cared about my teeth and oral hygiene, but I will admit, yes there have been times that I didn’t pay enough attention to taking care of myself exactly as I should as far as my teeth are concerned. I’m not making excuses, I’m just trying to say that life is hard and sometimes it’s easy to overlook things and not care for ourselves 100%. That doesn’t mean my dentist of ten years has the right to make me feel that I should just go bury my head in the sand bc my mouth looks awful and I’m a 49 year old man w poor hygiene. This embarrassed me! I am a fantastic father and a loving loyal husband and I went home literally crying to my sister about how much of a loser I have become and that I’m never going to find a way out of this. That my life is just a constant cycle of getting further and further into this hole that I can’t escape from. And now I can’t get out.
The past few weeks have been horrible. I tried to put it out of my head. When I got myself together, I called them and asked for a treatment plan. The plan is for 19 crowns and it is $20,000 of dental work. And I was left w a temporary tooth in front with no indication of how long this will last or what to do. I can’t afford this. And I’m so confused. I thought this was the reason I went in every six months to have my teeth cleaned…..to avoid something like this coming up. Just five months ago…..ONE MINOR CAVITY! What happened, what changed? Now $20k of dental crowns?????
I have done a lot of research into this. I was concerned that the root of that tooth that fell out could be creating bacteria that was damaging my other teeth but I asked them about that and they just ignored me. Now I am looking into going to Turkey to do this for much less money. Honestly, I don’t know what to do. I feel like this is the end for me. I have been feeling panicked. I don’t even feel like me anymore!
