A poem about dental treatment.

[Josef77]

My brother wrote a poem about going to the dentist:
On the way to my dental appointment
I had a vision of a certain ointment
That when applied
Would do away with tooth decay.
Oh I thought to myself,
If this my vision were only true
I could tell my dentist the hell with you.
Unfortunately no such cure is in sight
So I might as well relax and not put up a fight.
Though I do it only because I'm nervous,
Cmon doctor get on with your service
So that i can be on my way
Only to return another day
That there’s no end to tooth decay is true
But the answer lies in what is false
------FALSE TEETH
-Josef Soroken (1978)

 

[MattKW]

Oh, I wish I'd looked after me teeth
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me teeth,
And spotted the perils beneath,
All the toffees I chewed,
And the sweet sticky food,
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me teeth.

I wish I'd been that much more willin'
When I had more tooth there than fillin'
To pass up gobstoppers,
From respect to me choppers
And to buy something else with me shillin'.

When I think of the lollies I licked,
And the liquorice allsorts I picked,
Sherbet dabs, big and little,
All that hard peanut brittle,
My conscience gets horribly pricked.

My Mother, she told me no end,
"If you got a tooth, you got a friend"
I was young then, and careless,
My toothbrush was hairless,
I never had much time to spend.

Oh I showed them the toothpaste all right,
I flashed it about late at night,
But up-and-down brushin'
And pokin' and fussin'
Didn't seem worth the time... I could bite!

If I'd known I was paving the way,
To cavities, caps and decay,
The murder of fiIlin's
Injections and drillin's
I'd have thrown all me sherbet away.

So I lay in the old dentist's chair,
And I gaze up his nose in despair,
And his drill it do whine,
In these molars of mine,
"Two amalgum," he'll say, "for in there."

How I laughed at my Mother's false teeth,
As they foamed in the waters beneath,
But now comes the reckonin'
It's me they are beckonin'
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me teeth.

Pam Eyres 1992 (look up her video clip on YouTube)